We are looking for passionate individuals who enjoy staring at screens, drinking lukewarm coffee, and explaining to angry users why slippage is a natural phenomenon.
We pay in Fiat currency, which is better than being paid in "exposure" or "equity tokens".
It's instant coffee, but hey, it's free. We also have tap water.
You can choose which 16 hours of the day you want to work.
Responsibilities: Taking the blame when the server crashes. Nodding solemnly during meetings. Apologizing to clients for bugs you didn't write.
Requirements: Thick skin. Ability to say "It was a DNS issue" with a straight face.
Responsibilities: Copying code from Stack Overflow. Changing variable names so it looks like you wrote it. Centering divs.
Requirements: Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V certification. 10 years experience in a framework that came out last week.
Responsibilities: Writing 500 emails a day protecting the company from lawsuits. Ensuring angry traders feel "heard" without actually giving them money.
Requirements: Creative writing skills. High tolerance for all-caps emails.
Don't see a role that fits? Send us your CV anyway, we need scrap paper.